Saturday, 30 August 2008

George Foulkes - Wasteful PQs

To be fair, I've already posted this on my own blog but I thought this particular Holyrood Chat was so crap that it just had to be included in here aswell.

(I also fear this blog is wasting away slightly over recess but make no mistake, with the help of a multitude of authors I still hope to have it in full swing from next week....)

S3W-15851 - George Foulkes (Lothians) (Lab) (Date Lodged Thursday, August 28, 2008): To ask the Scottish Executive which race courses the First Minister has visited since May 2007 and on how many occasions.

Irrelevant to the Scottish people, now please just stop it George. Enough is enough!

Friday, 22 August 2008


It's upsetting to have to put John Park in here. His chat has been above average for the new intake, though it's not the toughest of fields to compete in. But "We hate Thatcherism" still reads poorly coming from Labour. I mean, come on guys, where was the nationalisation of anything other than Northern Rock? Has a Labour government revived the pits and the docks? Or has it, instead, sucked up to the City just like its predecessors? And, indeed, sucked up to Maggie herself?

Impact of Thatcher government's economic policies on Scotland
That the Parliament notes the comments by the First Minister suggesting that Scotland 'didn't mind' the Thatcher Conservative's government's economic policies; remembers with concern the misery experienced by the three million unemployed in the 1980s when the economic consequences of Thatcherism reached their nadir; understands the devastating impact that the Thatcher government's policies had on mining, the steel industry, dockyards and upon communities across Scotland; further notes that the First Minister has also expressed support for Reaganomics; worries that supply side economics, a largely discredited economic theory, could become a model for the Scottish economy; hopes that the Scottish Government's right-wing economic agenda will not be pursued at the expense of Scotland's working people and their families.

He who motions first........

At 15:11 on 20th August, Pauline McNeill circulated the motion below round Parliament seeking support. Fair enough, gaining UNESCO City of Music status is an achievement, and I'm sure many MSP's would support it.

But next day at 09:40, Bob Doris circulated a motion on exactly the same subject (again, see below). Instead of MSP's falling over themselves to lodge alternative motions on exactly the same subject, saying largely the same thing, they should do the grown up thing and simply support the motion lodged first.

S3M-02410 Pauline McNeill (Glasgow Kelvin) (Lab) Glasgow - UNESCO City of Music:That the Parliament notes the announcement of Glasgow as a UNESCO City of Music; celebrates this important recognition of Glasgow’s contribution to world music from opera and classical concerts to dance halls and the vibrant contemporary music scene in addition to Glasgow’s status as a pre-eminent centre for piping, traditional, celtic and Gaelic music; notes that the city will now follow Seville and Bologna to become the third European city to meet UNESCO’s exacting criteria and join the international Creative Cities Network as a City of Music, a permanent designation that will acknowledge the city’s musical heritage and its role as a leading centre of music-making, performance and enjoyment; congratulates all those involved in winning Glasgow’s bid for world City of Music status, including the management committee of Tom Thomson, James Boyle, Professor John Wallace, June Edgar and bid director, Svend Brown; applauds the bid supporters, including BBC Scotland, Glasgow City Council, the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, the University of Glasgow, Glasgow Caledonian University, the University of Strathclyde and the Glasgow-Edinburgh Collaboration Project, and acknowledges the commitment of the members of the Steering Committee, chaired by Baroness Ramsay of Cartvale and including Craig Armstrong, Nicola Benedetti, Alex Kapranos and the Rt Hon the Lord Provost of Glasgow, Councillor Bob Winter.

Short Title: Congratulations to Glasgow UNESCO City of Music
S3M-02412 Bob Doris (Glasgow) (SNP): That the Parliament
warmly welcomes Glasgow’s becoming only the third UNESCO City of Music in the world, an accolade shared with Bologna and Seville, and notes that, as such, Glasgow joins Edinburgh as part of UNESCO’s worldwide Creative Cities Network; congratulates all those involved in achieving this accolade, including Glasgow City Council, the Scottish Government and, most importantly, the people of Glasgow, whose passion, flare and ability are the most important factors in gaining such recognition; notes that one of the reasons behind the Creative Cities Network is the idea of creative tourism, and, as a result of Glasgow’s new status, looks forward to many more visitors being welcomed to Glasgow in the coming years to experience the many attractions the city has to offer, including its vibrant music scene.

Thursday, 21 August 2008

Margaret Smith - Hoy Polloi

S3M-02418 Margaret Smith (Edinburgh West) (LD):
Congratulations to Chris Hoy

That the Parliament congratulates Edinburgh cyclist, Chris Hoy, on winning three gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics; notes that he is the first Briton to win three gold medals at the same Olympics in 100 years; recognises that Hoy’s achievements in Olympic track cycling are exceptional; welcomes the inspiration generated as a result of this achievement; calls on the UK Government to bestow a knighthood on him, and wishes Chris the best of luck for the future and looks forward to further success in forthcoming events.

Don't get me wrong, well done to Chris on a fantastic achievement but a knighthood? Seriously? Riding a bike quickly is surely not what the Honours System is there for.

And brazenly politicising the success of an Olympic athlete makes for distinctly crap chat indeed.

Welcome to the vaults Margaret!

Friday, 15 August 2008

Robert Brown - Loves allotments too

Oh my goodness, they're all at it now with these pesky allotments....

I guess Robert Brown just wanted to stay under the radar in a mundane fashion after this delightful gaffe.

S3M-02398 Robert Brown (Glasgow): National Allotments Week 2008— That the Parliament welcomes National Allotments Week 2008, being held from 11 to 17 August 2008; believes that allotments can make a big contribution to healthier living, knowledge of the environment and the seasonality of food; notes the potential for positive links with local schools, and urges all local authorities to identify more high quality sites to satisfy the growing demand for allotments in Scotland.

Bob Doris - Gardener's Questions

What's the difference between the Scottish Parliament and a message board at your local ScotMid?

Well, not much apparently going by this motion. Still, the Green'll be happy about it...

Date of Lodging: 14 August 2008

Short Title: Helping Cambuslang Allotments Forum Grow

S3M-02397 Bob Doris (Glasgow) (SNP): That the Parliament commends the work of the Cambuslang Allotment Forum and the Scottish Allotments and Gardens Society; welcomes National Allotments Week as an opportunity to highlight the immense physical and mental health benefits tending allotments can bring; believes that by growing fresh produce people can play an important part in improving the nutrition of Scots and help tackle serious issues such as obesity; supports, in particular, the efforts of the Cambuslang Allotment Forum in its attempt to identify suitable land to deal with the list of local residents currently waiting to secure allotments; calls on South Lanarkshire Council to acknowledge that allotments make a significant contribution to 14 of the 45 National Outcomes as detailed in the Scottish Government’s historic concordat with local authorities and therefore strongly encourages South Lanarkshire Council to work constructively with the forum to ensure suitable sites are located and calls on all budding green-fingered allotment enthusiasts in Rutherglen and Cambuslang to get in contact with the Cambuslang Allotment Forum to find out how they can help the campaign and hopefully have their own allotments in the future.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Frank McAveety - (but not really)

Crap Holyrood Chat has got the first draft of a hastily-drafted motion being planned by Frank McAveety. It reads as follows:

That the Parliament congratulate Rangers F.C on losing to Hearts Reserves in the Second Qualifying Round of the UEFA Champions League; notes that this is the same Rangers side that jammily made it all the way to the final of the UEFA Cup in Manchester just 12 weeks ago in the face of huge adversity (being made to play nothing that resembled football more than once a week); believes the sacrifice made by Rangers is an amazingly selfless gesture given that it has handed their arch rivals the whole pot of Champions League TV money - believed to be in the region of £10m - while robbing their own fans of the opportunity of moaning that they have to play so many games in a season and wishes them well for a season of overachieving mediocrity.

Monday, 4 August 2008

Flags, always flags

It's hard to believe there aren't any previous flag-related entries here. So here's a starter.

S3M-02364 Bob Doris (Glasgow) (Scottish National Party): On the Right Track with the Scottish Saltire— That the Parliament welcomes the decision of Transport Scotland to rebrand all trains in Scotland with the Scottish saltire; believes that Scotland as a brand is an essential part of our economy and, in particular, our vital tourist industry and that such a move will help promote this brand thus both promoting national self-confidence and also potentially enhancing economic growth; notes that this will help make Scots aware that their rail services are primarily paid for by the taxpayers of Scotland; further notes that the costs will be kept to a minimum as repainting will happen as already scheduled; welcomes the broad acceptance of the Scottish saltire as a symbol of the nation of Scotland and not a political symbol and therefore condemns the talking down of the Scottish saltire, in particular the comments of George Foulkes MSP who described its use as a “brainwashing tactic”, and attempts to make political capital out of our nation’s flag; believes that no person or party should fear the positive and inclusive expressions of Scottishness that Scotland’s saltire represents and that Lord Foulkes and others should spend their time promoting Scottishness as opposed to undermining it; further notes that countries across the world proudly display their national flags without opposition from their fellow countrymen and women, and looks forward to the day when an independent Scotland can do the same.

Why do flags bring out the worst in people? Unionists, Nationalists (as above), Republicans, the Welsh, Confederates, Congress and the rest

It's also particularly pleasing to see an SNP MSP say the saltire isn't a "political symbol". Riiiight. 

Kenneth Gibson - Surely not...

S3M-2282 Kenneth Gibson: Congratulations to Heather Gibson—That the Parliament congratulates 11-year-old Heather Kirsty Fiona Gibson on winning this year’s Scott Trophy for meritorious effort at Crookfur Primary School, Newton Mearns, East Renfrewshire; recognises that this prestigious award is presented to the outstanding Primary 7 pupil who has achieved excellence in school work, engaged successfully with peers and staff, behaved in an exemplary fashion during his/her time at the school and contributed significantly to school life consistently over seven years; believes that Heather has a bright future ahead, and wishes her continued success at Eastwood High School.

So the MSP is Kenneth Gibson and the p7 pupil is Heather Gibson?

Please, please tell me that our beloved Kenneth Gibson hasn't used the Scottish Parliament to give his wee girl a pat on the back for some diddly prize won at school? Honestly Ken, I'm sure a night out watching High School Musical and going for a pizza with all the family would have been sufficient...

Saturday, 2 August 2008

Early success

Crap Holyrood Chat is not even one month old yet it has already received its first award.

The Witanagemot Club's annual awards have placed the blog third place in the 'Best Holyrood Gossip' section.

This might seem like a surprise given how new the blog is but it's surely no surprise given the sheer quality associated with it. It is in no way due to the fact that only a small number of people voted in this section...

Anyway if this is what happens after less than a month and during recess just think where CHC will be in a few months!

Friday, 1 August 2008

George Foulkes

Oh George. George, george, george. Where are you going with this one dear boy?

A suitable question in the interests of the great Scottish public? Or a rather desperate and partisan attempt at using the lowest form of Politics to throw some mud the Government's way?

You decide. I have already though, hence its inclusion in the Crap Holyrood Chat vaults...

S3W-15285 - George Foulkes (Lothians) (Lab) (Date Lodged Thursday, July 31, 2008): To ask the Scottish Executive what proposals it has considered for an Islam fest; what assurances have been given that such an event will not be used for racist or extreme political propaganda, and what financial assistance has been sought or granted for such an event.